When Sabrina Carpenter stopped in Paris on her Short n’ Sweet tour, she didn’t just deliver a show — she delivered a wink and a nod to one of the most infamous sex positions out there. During her performance of “Juno,” the pop star teased the audience with a question: “Have you ever tried this one?” And then she mimed a pose that quickly sent TikTok into a frenzy — the Eiffel Tower.
But what exactly is the Eiffel Tower position? Is it as wild as it sounds? And does it have a place in real-life intimacy, or is it just locker-room legend? We spoke with sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, author of She Comes First, to get a deeper understanding of this classic threesome configuration — and whether it deserves its controversial reputation.
What Exactly Is the Eiffel Tower Position?
The Eiffel Tower is a threesome position typically involving two partners penetrating a third partner — one via intercourse from behind, and the other via oral sex at the front. The “tower” effect comes when the penetrating partners high-five over the middle person, mimicking the landmark’s structure (well, vaguely). That triumphant gesture has become the defining image of the position.
Eiffel Tower vs. Spit-Roast
Technically speaking, the difference between the Eiffel Tower and the similar “spit-roast” position is all in the high five. In a spit-roast, the physical setup is the same, but there’s no celebratory hand connection. Still, Kerner suggests not getting too caught up in semantics — the goal is shared pleasure, not architectural accuracy.
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Why the Eiffel Tower Can Be Hot for Everyone
Despite its frat-boy reputation, the Eiffel Tower can be deeply satisfying for all parties when approached with mutual respect and enthusiasm.
- Visual stimulation: Both end partners get a front-row seat to the action — whether it’s eye contact, watching their partner receive pleasure, or simply enjoying the group dynamic.
- Power exchange: The person in the middle experiences a strong sense of submission, while the penetrating partners often feel dominant and connected.
- Camaraderie: There’s something undeniably bonding — and potentially playful — about sharing such an intimate act with a friend or trusted partner.
- Simultaneous stimulation: For the person in the center, giving and receiving pleasure at once can bring a unique, heightened experience.
“There’s a psychological thrill in submitting to two partners,” says Kerner. “It’s a fantasy for many — one where being desired and dominated overlaps with being in control of your pleasure.”
How to Actually Do the Eiffel Tower
Setting up the Eiffel Tower doesn’t require gymnast-level flexibility — but communication and positioning are key.
- The middle partner gets on all fours.
- One partner positions themselves at the back for penetration.
- The other partner kneels in front to receive oral sex.
- Once everyone is in rhythm, the two outer partners can high-five over the middle — the signature Eiffel Tower move.
Keep in mind: height, bed space, and comfort matter. If one partner is significantly taller, or if the middle partner struggles with being on hands and knees, props like pillows or wedges can help.
Variations to Explore
The Eiffel Tower doesn’t have to be rigid. The joy of threesomes — and sex in general — lies in experimentation.
- Try flipping the middle partner onto their back for a new angle. This may shift the dynamic but still allows for simultaneous stimulation.
- If bed height becomes an issue, the penetrating partner may need to kneel on the floor, while the oral-receiving partner adjusts their position accordingly.
- Want to switch it up mid-act? Go for it. “Position perfection shouldn’t take priority over pleasure,” says Kerner.
Consent and Communication Come First
No matter how adventurous a position might be, the most important factors are mutual respect and clear communication. “The 4Cs — consent, caring, communication, and caution — should always be front and center,” says Kerner.
That includes checking in with all partners about comfort levels, adjusting positions as needed, and making sure no one feels ignored or overwhelmed during the act. Eye contact and body awareness can go a long way.
Final Thoughts: Should You Try the Eiffel Tower?
If everyone’s onboard and enthusiastic, the Eiffel Tower can be a rewarding, high-intensity position that blends fantasy with fun. It’s not just about a high five — it’s about high pleasure. Whether you’re inspired by Sabrina Carpenter’s cheeky nod in Paris or just curious about what a three-way can look like at its most synchronized, the Eiffel Tower is worth considering.
Just remember: no landmark is worth building if the foundation isn’t solid. With the right communication, creativity, and care, the Eiffel Tower might just become your next unforgettable memory — no passport required.
